Legendary Gray built winning program, lasting relationships

NORWALK — Steve Gray didn't think he yelled that much. "He would tell you that he coached loudly," said Nick Lee, his assistant boys basketball coach of 13 years at Norwalk High School. Gray and his coaching staff also had to eat the same thing at the same place — the wings at Fricker's in Perrysburg — every time they headed west to scout the Toledo area. During one of those trips, he and longtime coach Tom Foster left Lee and another coach, Reid Shoop, at Toledo Central Catholic High School for far too long — because they were lost while driving back from a different game. He forgot his work keys almost every day. He accidentally called people most days, which often ended in three-minute voicemails of background noise from whatever he was doing. Gray once let Foster drive 75 minutes to Norwalk for a practice but forgot to inform him the practice time had moved up an hour. Foster instead made the round trip from Fredericktown for a 15-minute practice and was irate. There was also Gray's office at NHS. It didn't feel much bigger than a closet for the assistants. Yet Gray managed to have a love seat and a La-Z-Boy recliner in the room. "As annoying as some of those things were, it was impossible to stay mad at Coach Gray for long," Lee said. "He was just too likable." Gray died unexpectedly on Dec. 28 at the age of 69. The retired coach and OHSBCA Hall of Famer led his teams to 481 wins in 34 seasons at four different schools but made his biggest impact on and off the court in Norwalk. Gray's teams went 312-188 in his 21 seasons at the school. During his tenure at Norwalk, the Truckers won six league championships, 12 sectional championships, and three district titles to go with a regional title and the Division II state championship from a 29-1 season in 2014. Foster said there was also something else Gray did every day to produce those kinds of results. "I want people to remember how hard Steve worked at his craft," Foster said. "How it was important to cover every little detail. He would always, and I do mean always, ask before we left the coaches' office on the night before a game, "Are we ready?" Players perspective As the primary ball handler for the 2011-14 teams, no one on the court communicated with Gray and Foster more than Ben Haraway. The 2015 graduate is fifth all-time in career points (1,184) and is remembered fondly for his performance in the two state wins in Columbus in March 2014. "I appreciated Coach Gray for far more than what he taught me on the court," Haraway said. "Whether it was helping shape my mindset as I navigated playing varsity as a freshman, talking me through how a tough coaching style can be motivating, or helping me weigh the pros and cons of where I might play college basketball, his guidance always came from a place of care." Haraway said part of what made Gray so impactful was his ability to balance high standards with a kind of loving banter. "He had a way of pushing you, challenging you, and even giving you a hard time," he said. "Yet you always knew it came from a place of belief and trust. That mix of toughness and humor made you want to work harder, not just for yourself, but for him and for the team." Haraway said while many like to point out how talented those teams were, Gray also had the difficult task of managing different personalities, talent levels, and playing styles. "Yet he handled it as well as anyone could," he said. "Getting a group of young athletes to be that selfless, to focus solely on winning and doing what was best for the team, is no small accomplishment." Wes Sellers had one of the more unique relationships with Gray. The 2002 graduate was a senior on the first NHS team after Gray arrived from Lexington. He then spent over 10 years as an assistant coach on the bench alongside Foster, Lee, and Shoop. "Unbeknownst to me at the time, that was the start of the most important and impactful relationship I've had for the last 24 years of my life," Sellers said. "I lost my dad (Brent) to a lengthy battle with cancer shortly after graduation. My relationship with Coach Gray grew more steady and meaningful in the years to follow." What started as a coach-player relationship matured into more of a mentor and friend relationship. Sellers freely admits he leaned on Gray for a lot, from advice on big life decisions to just guidance on coaching. Or even ranting on small matters like the Cleveland Cavaliers. "He was my go-to person and proudly holds the top contact spot in my phone," Sellers said. "Our talks, jokes, and quality time we shared are tough for me to no longer have. "Coach Gray came into my life at the perfect time when I needed him to," he added. "He served as a fatherly figure I have leaned on for the last 20-plus years." Also in Gray's first season at NHS was a talented freshman class, led by Stephen Hunter. The 2005 grad and career scoring leader (1,465) helped the Truckers to 31 wins over his final two seasons and eight tournament victories in four years. Now a police officer in Columbus, Hunter also offers a different perspective. "It's no secret he was tough on his players, and he and I often didn't see eye-to-eye back then," Hunter said. "It wasn't until years later, with some maturity, that I realized he was preparing us for more in life than just basketball. "He pushed his players to get the most out of themselves because he knew they were capable of more. It was truly an honor to play for him for four years." A second act When Josh Schlotterer returned to his alma mater after a stint in the U.S. Navy, he first became a coach in Gray's program at the junior high and freshman levels. Then, when he was hired as the NHS athletic director 10 years ago, he worked even closer with Gray as his supervisor. That relationship took another turn after Gray retired from coaching in 2022. Already substitute teaching on and off — he had retired full-time from the classroom in 2012 — Gray was hired as the faculty manager. Essentially, he became the point person for sporting events, mainly at soccer matches and select other sports in the winter and spring. He was also the site host whenever NHS hosted tournament events and was in charge of getting the game officials in and out during home football games. Gray had said he wanted no responsibility or job title. He just wanted to be there to continue something he loved and was important to him. "I had many different chapters with Steve," Schlotterer said. "As a faculty manager, he covered a lot. I got to know him a lot better when he was in that position. I'm just going to miss the conversations we had and how he made people feel good about themselves. "He was perfect in that role, connecting with people and calming situations down if they needed to. He knew all the officials and all our custodians for years, as far as all the people who help set up for games." Schlotterer said in the last four years, the role was the best of both worlds for Gray. "He could be around the game and talk to officials, coaches, fans, and everyone involved," he said. "Everyone loved him. It got to the point where when I worked a game, people always wanted to know where he was." Schlotterer said Gray is irreplaceable. "But someone can come in and do my job," he said. "Steve isn't replaceable because of the personality and relationships he was able to build and the way he made people feel good about themselves." Coaches perspective Adam Kreischer has been in the Norwalk area for 25 years. And it's mainly because Steve Gray asked him to come coach with him when he took the job. Now in his fourth season as head coach at NHS after taking over for Gray, Kreischer doesn't hesitate on the impact his high school head coach had on him when they were both at Lexington. "Besides my parents, Steve had the biggest influence on my life," Kreischer said. "The fact that he thought enough of me to suggest I do my student teaching up here and be a varsity assistant for him, and the fact that I thought enough of him to not even hesitate and say yes, shows his impact." Gray taught Kreischer about toughness, loyalty, and how to be about more than yourself. "Really, he taught me how to hold myself and others accountable and how to teach that to young kids," he said. "I appreciate him for all that he did for me. My heart just breaks for his family and everyone who knew him for who he was." During Gray's tenure, Norwalk ended a 49-year league title drought (1962-2011) and a 38-year district title drought (1974-2012). From 2011-14, the Truckers won four straight league titles along with 57 straight regular season games. Norwalk was 91-9 during the four-year run. In the years after the state title, the Truckers also appeared in three straight district title games (2019-21) for the first time in program history and won four straight sectional titles (2019-22) for the first time ever as well. Gray was known to delegate a lot of responsibilities to his coaching staff during those times. "But he wasn't lazy; Steve trusted us," Lee said. "He knew how to delegate and surround himself with good people and trust them. "I try to teach that to my leadership students all the time. The power of surrounding yourself with the best people, delegation, and trust — I learned that firsthand from Coach Gray." Shoop noted that the cramped office often led to amazing conversations after practice and film breakdown were over. Despite the high stakes of the games, Gray always kept it loose behind the scenes. "We'd all be squeezed in that little room, and the stories that were told, the teasing and jokes … just so many laughs," he said. "The arguing about the Cavs, the Indians, the Buckeyes, or high school sports went on for a long time. "No one would leave until the wives would start calling," Shoop added. "He was a great coach and mentor, but more than that, he was a great person and a true friend. He made everyone he talked to feel important." That included Foster, his right-hand man for more than three decades, and 500 games at Norwalk. The pair were also close friends away from the job, attending college basketball clinics and games over the years. "Steve's greatest quality was he really cared for you as a person," Foster said. "He was there for me whenever I needed him. He was my friend, my confidant, and I will forever be grateful that I said yes to his phone call in the summer of 1992 asking me to be his varsity assistant at Lexington." In the days since his death, Foster has found himself recalling one memory in particular at Norwalk. It's one he's never spoken about publicly in the past. "People may recall the embrace that Steve and I had as the buzzer sounded when we beat Lima Bath to win the regional championship in 2014," Foster said. "I said to him, 'You did it.' His reply immediately was, 'No, we did it.' "To me, that showed the character of Coach Gray. I will miss him more than anyone will ever understand. But I know every day when I take a walk down memory lane, I will see him waiting. I am a better person because of my years with him."