Not home for the holidays

NORWALK — The anguish they feel is palatable. It's especially true during the holidays. Amanda D. Dean, 41, is Caroline Tokar's middle daughter. Amanda Dean pictured with all four of her sons. This is the last holiday photo the family has of their mother, Christmas 2016. Provided Looking at a family photo of Amanda, taken in December 2016, is pure torture for Tokar. She can't look at it without feeling stabbed in the heart; and she can't not look at it. It's the last photo of Amanda with all four of her sons the family has; Tokar cannot give up hope. "I know my daughter. I know she wouldn't do this. We deserve answers. We deserve proof of life," said Tokar. On Tuesday Tokar emailed Huron County Sheriff Todd Corbin. "This communication will serve as a demand and formal request for proof of life of my daughter, Amanda D. Dean, to the family of Amanda D. Dean. Amanda was reported missing since July 11, 2017. It has been over 5 years (1,981 Days) since anyone, including our family and or friends have had any contact with her." All those years ago, it was Sheriff Corbin who determined that Amanda Dean was not missing. The day after a missing persons investigation was started he spoke with an advocacy group that told him Dean was relocating, running from a past that included domestic violence. "I am sure she is safe and alive," Corbin told the Register earlier this week. Amanda Dean Provided He can't divulge more information than that, he said, because this is Amanda's choice. It's up to her to contact her family, he said. Too long, just too long It's the same thing he told Caroline Tokar, 5½ years ago. At that time, Tokar said she accepted what Corbin told her. This is what Amanda wanted. It's what she needed, for now, Tokar thought. She never fathomed for a moment that an enstrangement would last long, and never, for one second, that it would be all this time. Now she's sure something is wrong. "It's been too many years. Sometimes I think her younger sons feel abandoned. They were too young to know. Now she has two grandsons she's never met. If she knew she would not stay away. It's been too long," Tokar said She won't let herself fear the worst — that Amanda is deceased — but not contacting her family for all these years, and not having contact with anyone she knows all that time, that's not Amanda, Tokar said. Amanda's sister, Shannon Dean, feels so much sadness for Amanda's family, for their mother. "We just want answers. We deserve answers. My mother deserves to know what happened to Amanda. She needs to know, for sure, that she's safe," Shannon said. Her boys deserve to know." Violent history And, the people who drove Amanda away should be held to account, according to Shannon, and that includes one of Amanda's ex-boyfriends, who Shannon said assaulted Amanda in January 2017 and also threatened to kill her. A sheriff's report shows a deputy responded to the home on Wells Road, Amanda's last known address where she was living with the on- and off-again boyfriend. Shannon reported that Amanda told her the man gave her a Black eye, and later threatened to kill Amanda. But the man wasn't charged, after Amanda at first told a deputy she hurt herself when a hammer fell and hit her in the eye. She later admitted the man assaulted her but said she didn't want charges filed, according to the deputy's report. With a visible injury and credible information about what happened, the man could have been charged anyway, but a prosecutor decided against filing charges, the report states. On Thursday, Caroline Tokar learned the state crime lab, the Bureau of Criminal Investigation, had agreed to start a missing persons case. "We did get our missing person report after all," she told the Register. Tokar said she also met with representatives from the Cleveland Family Center for Missing Children & Adults. "They agreed to help find Amanda," she said. The Center and family members are handing out a missing persons flyer that asks anyone with information to contact 855-BCI-OHIO, the Huron County Sheriff Office at 419-668-6912, or sylvia@clevelandmissing.org at the Cleveland Family Center for Missing Children & Adults. The Ohio Attorney General's Office, which supervises BCI, confirmed that its Special Victims Unit has started an investigation. "The first steps are to submit/update case information in the National Crime Information Center (NCIC), review the case file to determine next steps and begin conducting any interviews," Steven Irwin, a spokesman for Attorney General Dave Yost told the Register.