Life after Jamie

MILAN — For the past two months, every day has taken a great toll on Brendan Butler, emotionally draining him. "It's been sad. So sad," Brendan said. "This was completely out of nowhere. We were just celebrating Christmas one week, and the next, she's not here anymore. She got us two video games for our brand new (Nintendo) Switch, and we can't even play those games. We just can't." Brendan referenced the sudden and unexpected death of his late wife, Jamie (Burke) Butler. She's a 2008 Norwalk High School and EHOVE Career Center graduate. Jamie, 31, died after suffering seizures. "She was on life support for about a week," Brendan said. "She then died on Jan. 5. I was with her, alone, and I held her through the whole thing all the way until her last breath." Brendan praised Jamie, a stay-at-home mom, labeling her as the family's rock. She paid the bills, coordinated activities and, above all else, always put the needs of their three young children — Elizabeth, 12; Brendan, 11; and Daniel, 8 — first. They all attend Edison Schools. "She was a wonderful mother," said Brendan, a 2002 Western Reserve High School graduate who works for Foot Locker Inc. "We all enjoyed going to Cleveland Indians baseball games together. We all enjoyed spending time together." Among their favorite activities: buying and displaying G.I. Joe action figures inside their Milan home. After Brendan turned to a life of sobriety more than five years ago, they've amassed a heaping collection. "That's where all of my alcohol money went to," Brendan said. "We have at least 3,000 figures. We liked wandering around and checking out flea markets to grab them." As the family's main financial provider, Brendan now inherits and must juggle every single family responsibility largely by himself: Beyond working, he also cares for his children, which includes getting them ready for school, making meals, helping out with homework, chauffeuring each to appointments and addressing countless other tasks. Brendan does receive help from his father along with his in-laws. "Every week has been tougher than the last," Brendan said. "I'm mentally and emotionally tired. My capacity isn't there anymore, but I'm trying." Luckily for Brendan, the entire community of Berlin Heights and Milan has rallied behind his family. For instance, Edison's youth basketball program — including a team the younger Brendan Butler plays on — donated many gifts cards to pay for lunches and dinners. And the players also wore special warm-up shirts with the phrase "Butler Strong" written on the sleeve. "That was really special to me," Brendan said. Other locals contributed in different ways. Most notably, many took part in a meal train. It's a way to organize a series of meals, cooked and delivered, to someone, like Brendan, in need. Milan resident Ashley Ruby organized the meal train for Brendan and his children. Her friendship with the family dates back almost 25 years. "I am a single mom of three and know how hard it can be sometimes to just get the kids to school, to work and get dinner done in the evening after a long day of work and running them to sports and doing the grocery shopping," Ruby said. She continued: "Losing Jamie has been a huge loss for Brendan and the kids. I had to do something to help. I know the struggles and how it can take a toll on you. He is grieving a very huge loss and so are the kids. Anything we can do as a community to help and just make life a little easier, we need to do." Generous community support shown by locals represents the top motivating factor for Brendan and his children to start a new life without Jamie. "We are so appreciative of everyone that has helped out and donated to us. Even the people who send me messages, to check how we are doing, it means the world," Brendan said. "Milan is my home: I grew up here. It's where I got married to Jamie in 2013, at the Edison Birthplace Museum, and it's where I want to stay — and the community is showing us that we belong here." Want to donate? There are one of two ways people can donate to Brendan Butler and his three children: • People can make meals for the family. Go to mealtrain.com/trains/oqggo4 for more information. • People can visit gofundme.com and search for "Helping Hands and Loving Hearts for Jamie" created by Leslie Chase for Brendan Butler and click the link accompanying a picture of Jamie and her three children dressed up in costumes. "I promise anything that is donated will take care of me and my kids like with house payments or food, things we absolutely need to live," Brendan said.