Truth and honesty matter

We all lie. Some of us consider ourselves to be honest; we believe the lies we tell don't really count. A book by Dan Ariely, "The (Honest) Truth about Dishonesty," offers evidence that we're able to believe we're honest even though we lie or cheat by doing so only in little ways. As a result, we're able to convince ourselves we're mostly honest — implying that we're only dishonest in ways we think don't matter. It all matters. What we say matters. It may not matter in the moment, but it matters to someone, or at some time. Honesty is not just about speaking the truth. It is also about being real with yourself and others about who you are, what you want and what you need. When we're honest, it promotes openness and connection. Honesty is the most efficient method to communicate with others and with yourself. Being honest reduces distraction, frustration and indecision. When you're honest, you focus on the life you want to be living. Honesty allows you the opportunity to trust your intuition, to create alignment with living a purpose-filled life. Being honest will allow you to define who you are, without influence by others. Speaking with honesty will gain the respect and the attention of others. These people will most likely become the people you want to influence and be influenced by. Those we surround ourselves with become a reflection of who we are, and what we believe. They help define and influence our outlook on life. A single moment of honesty can be a beacon to others, creating alignment in beliefs, interests and aspirations. So often we're reluctant to speak the truth, to be honest with who we are, and what we believe. People often find lies to be easier. The lies become convincing and create barriers to our moral compass. Lies are created under this shield of protection; a lie that it will protect us if we make something up. We lie to protect ourselves, to avoid suffering, consequences, shame and or embarrassment. We convince ourselves that the truth will hurt more, so we continue living the lie. We lie to protect our interests, to get what we want, such as higher pay, or nonmaterial goods like attention. We lie to protect our image; we want to be liked, we want to be respected. We lie to cover up the truth. We lie to appear more courageous than we really are. We lie to protect our resources, to avoid expending time or energy to engage in something that we really don't want to do. We lie to protect others; we want to protect the feelings of our friends and family, so we lie to tell them what they want to hear. There is an additional benefit to honesty; it forces you to pause. When you want to lie to protect, pause for a moment and think of all the things you want that lie to protect you from, all those things that you're trying to be in that moment. When you are honest it will motivate you to be better, be the person you truly want to be, and capable of becoming. Being honest creates an opportunity to change, alter the approach. It is often not what you say but how you say it. So how can you speak with honesty while maintaining the level of protection most strive to achieve? If you truly want to improve yourself, what you need most in life is honesty.