A voice for the victims

Do you need help? Victims of domestic violence in Erie, Huron and Ottawa counties can reach out to Safe Harbour Domestic Violence Shelter by calling 419-626-2200. The hotline is open 24/7. People can make donations to Safe Harbour, a nonprofit, by: • Writing a check or sending a money order to Safe Harbour Domestic Violence Shelter / PO Box 2616 / Sandusky, OH 44870 • Calling 419-626-2200 • Visiting safeharbourshelter.org/donations-fundraisers SANDUSKY — Over the past 12 months, COVID-19 has created many changes to everyday life. But, unfortunately, a disturbing crime continues to persist in Erie, Huron and Ottawa counties: domestic violence and other crimes related to physical, mental, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse. Similar to virtually every other local nonprofit, Safe Harbour Domestic Violence Shelter — the area's only certified facility to directly protect, advocate for and empower victims, a majority being women — needed to adjust its operations when the pandemic first rocked Ohio this time a year ago. Despite its budget significantly shrinking — Safe Harbour received about $150,000 in 2021, down from $220,000 in 2020, due to less money available from a federal grant — the need for services didn't subside. Stretched thinner than ever before, last year, the agency still managed to provide assistance in 400-plus emergency cases. Safe Harbour's staff fielded crisis calls, sheltered victims, safeguarded them with overnight stays in a secretive location, offered counseling and provided advocacy services for legal proceedings. All the while, Safe Harbour continued to work in conjunction with its community partners. This would include law enforcement, prosecutors, children services, frontline health care workers and others, connecting victims — including those who have been raped — with resources needed on their initial paths toward healing. With a financial crunch still in play, and domestic violence cases recurring at alarming rates, simply put, Safe Harbour needs the community's help. Since Safe Harbour's inception, in 1989, "We have always been very frugal," said Linda Mitchell the nonprofit's longtime executive director. "We are very careful with the money that we spend." Victims can receive services from Safe Harbour at no cost to individuals in need. Safe Harbour, meanwhile, never turns people away, no matter how dire its money situation might be. Five Safe Harbour representatives — Mitchell, executive assistant Hazel Foley, social worker Beth Wimmer, board member Sandi Foster and board vice president Denise Zanni — sat down with the Register this past week to explain the nonprofit's mission. For more than 20 years, the leadership team has declined any and all opportunities to speak with reporters about its mission. Staff members shy away from publicity mostly because of its promise toward victims to maintain their confidentiality. But, after reading a recently published Register article about one of its community partners, Erie County's Victim Assistance Program, and while factoring in the fiscal situation, Safe Harbour's workers agreed to a rare interview. The Register, respecting the nonprofit's promise to privacy, didn't ask to interview victims and conducted the meeting in an undisclosed location. More on the mission Q: In a nutshell, can you please explain Safe Harbour's operation and overall mission? A: Safe Harbour is a shelter for victims of domestic violence for Erie, Huron and Ottawa counties. It provides everything that a person would need to live temporarily at our shelter: clothes, personal items, food, transportation. Most of the time, the folks who come into our shelter come in with the clothes on their backs. We provide safety for them. Safety is at the top of what we do. Safe Harbour will provide each person with alternatives to family violence in an atmosphere of safety, encouragement and support. Safe Harbour will evaluate the physical and emotional needs of its clients and, through collaborative relationships, will develop a comprehensive network of services to address those needs with respect, confidentiality and professionalism. Q: Can you describe what a victim's initial experiences are like when he or she first seeks help? A: All of the people who come through our doors, they are broken. Their self-esteem is zero. No one has to put up with abuse or being controlled. No one needs to live like that. Q: What services does Safe Harbour provide to victims? A: Safe Harbour provides: • A 24-hour hotline; People can dial 419-626-2200 on a 24/7 basis. • Shelter; Victims and their children can stay at a safe and confidential location. • Counseling; Victims can go through short-term crisis intervention counseling along with other education and case management programs. There's also an outreach counseling service for victims who don't reside at the shelter. • Support groups; Victims who have been or are now in abusive relationships and looking to make a positive change in their lives can participate in the sessions. • Information and referrals to other community services • Guidance for victims for how to file a civil or temporary protection order • Community education; A speakers' bureau offers professional training for medical personnel, public and private agencies and other interested organizations. • Volunteer opportunities • Legal advocacy through offering personal support for victims of domestic violence in criminal and civil court; Safe Harbour prides itself on giving victims an opportunity to immediately speak with an advocate about their particular circumstances and troubling incidents. Q: What qualifications does the Safe Harbour staff possess to assist victims? A: Our staff is very empathetic and is trained, including in trauma-informed care. When a man or woman comes in, they know the signs and can help calm them down, take them to the shelter and talk with them about a number of subjects. If you come into our shelter and don't want to talk, we are not going to make you talk. We can house you and protect you that way. Q: What do you want victims to achieve after going through programs and services offered by Safe Harbour? A: Our goal is for them to get to a point where they believe in themselves again and have some self-esteem and realize their full potential. They just got lost along the way and forgot who they are. What we offer here is to help people understand and regain a sense of independence and happiness. We provide unconditional support. This is a real problem in not just this community but in every community. So often, people don't get the help they need. But this group, here at Safe Harbour, will give anybody everything they have. There is always someone available 24/7 to talk with, and it's so important we help any victim who needs help. Q: Many victims of domestic violence and/or abuse let the crime(s) go unreported. For victims who haven't or are unsure of reaching out to places like Safe Harbour, what would you say to them? A: Abuse is a real problem, and sometimes it takes a long time for the victim to admit there's a problem and even longer before they get out of that situation. Abuse is underreported because people are afraid to report due to the threat of violence or that they may be financially dependent on the abuser or that the abuser might hold their children hostage. But we can help you. It's against the law to be abused. We can help you with your self-esteem. We can help you escape the brainwashing. Q: What are some tell-tale signs of abuse? A: It could include any of the following: • Are you blamed whenever things go wrong? • Are you limited to doing only what your partner wants? • Is your partner a nasty drunk or drug user? • Are you forbidden to use money for yourself or your children? • Is your partner jealous of outside friendships? • Does he/she have a "Jekyll & Hyde" personality? • Do you make excuses for your partner's behavior? • Do you do more of the work, be it paid or unpaid? • Are you forced to have sex after you've said, "no"? • Do you need your partner's permission to do things? • Are you punished for misbehaving? • Was your partner or his/her mother abused? • Does your partner humiliate you in public? • Do you live in fear of your loved ones? • Is there a scene if you disagree with your partner? If you answered to: * One to two items, take notice and work together to improve troubled areas * Three to four items, seriously look at your relationship and seek help from a qualified counselor * Five to six items, there is an abuse issue, and counseling may not be appropriate until fear ceases * More than seven items, crisis intervention is needed. Seek individual counseling. Q: How long can people stay at the shelter? A: Our average stay is 30 days. But, if their safety is an issue, they can stay longer. Parents can bring their children with them into the shelter. We never separate moms or dads from their kids. Q: Can you describe your current financial standing? A: We do have challenges, as there is no guaranteed funding stream that Safe Harbour receives. Those funding streams are often affected by the climate of the overall economy. But, no matter how much money we receive, our goal remains the same: Provide absolutely everything that a victim may need now and in the future so that they can establish their independence away from their abuser. We do welcome donations. Every dollar that comes into Safe Harbour goes directly to help the victims and helps keep our shelter running. We are fortunate that local foundations have supported us with grant money, over the years, to keep our shelter in top-notch condition. But we would still welcome any donation from anyone.